This week I had the pleasure of spending a few days with my grandchildren.  It made me realize, again, what a blessing grandchildren are, truly gifts from God to be appreciated and enjoyed.  But as in other areas, I’ve learned that here, too, there are general guidelines that help keep that experience the pleasure it should be.  I’m certain that as I continue in my role as grandparent, I’ll be learning many more, but for now I’ll pass alone these five points to remember.

1) You’re the grandparent not parent.  That means your grandchildren’s parents have the right to make the rules and you should respect them.

2) Young grandchildren, especially, want their grandparents to sit on the floor with them and play.  Do as much of that as possible.  Remember, they’ll get older, and soon enough the time will come when hanging around with their friends will be more important than sitting down and spending time with you.

3) Even so . . . your grandkids have more energy than you do.  They’re younger and that will never change.  Keep up the best you can, but know when to say, “I’m tired, I can’t play anymore.”

4) Though training and providing direction is important, remember your grandchildren get enough of that from their parents (or should).  It’s more important for grandparents to show unconditional love and support and encouragement.  Dispense lots of praise and kisses, and a minimum of criticism.

5) Even so . . . not everything your grandchild does will be “wonderful”.  Dispensing truth in love at important moments can give your grandchild a deeper respect for your opinion and judgment, as well as your insights and wisdom.

Grandparents have a wonderful opportunity to model the unconditional love of God, while having some of the most rewarding times of their lives.  Now that’s a blessing that’s hard to beat!

Until next week,

Sylvia

One of the things I love most about being a grandparent is that I have to do so little disciplining.  That’s not to say I don’t discipline when I must, it’s to say I don’t overly concern myself with teaching my grandchildren their “please” and “thank-yous” and all the countless other things that go into the good moral training of children.  The reason I don’t concern myself is that my grandchildren have parents who do this, leaving me free to just love and enjoy them, and perhaps just train by example.  It’s a cushy arrangement and one I thoroughly enjoy.

Parenting on the other hand is a lot tougher. It’s a 24/7 kind of job; a sloughing-it-out-in-the-trenches kind of role which is, for the most part, thankless, at least until the kids are old enough and mature enough to understand the value of discipline. 

Most parents have a heart of love toward their children and just want to shower them with affection, gifts, privileges, but instead find themselves in a position of having to correct, withhold privileges, lecture.  It’s called “tough love” and it’s wearing. But unlike grandparents, parents don’t have the luxury of spoiling and pampering, not if they really love their children and want them to grow up the best they can be and fulfill their God-given destinies.

Nothing helped me quite understand the parenting heart of God until I became one. And nothing makes me more sympathetic because unlike us earthly parents where there is a point in time when our job is finished and we can do no more, God’s job as parent is never done.  He still must discipline us when He would rather take us in His arms.  He still must correct and guide us, withhold those things we want for our own good, deal with our disappointment and anger because we don’t understand that what He is doing is needful. God is perpetual parent, never grandparent, never able to close His eyes to our misdeeds and spoil us anyway, but always loving us enough to do the hard thing. 

I am awed by this kind of faithful, steadfast love.  A love that doesn’t take the easy way out, doesn’t seek to please itself, but stays the long hard course of trying to mold us into something lovely.

Until next week,

Sylvia

This summer, in between Bug Camp and Ooey-Gooey Camp, my grandkids spent a few nights at my house. It doesn’t happen often due to their busy schedules. But when it does, it’s a big deal.  To get ready I cleaned the house from top to bottom. (They have allergies)  Got into corners I rarely visit. Then I inventoried their toy chest, the one I keep for when they come to dinner, etc. I always try to have a little something new and fun in it. Nothing big, but something that makes them feel like their toy box is an adventure, or a treasure chest waiting to be explored.   I culled the things they had outgrown, then went to the store and bought 2 new coloring books—Dora-the-Explorer, and Cars—a Chutes and Ladders game, a pack of construction paper and some new crayons.

            Next the menu.  What was I going to make them for breakfast, lunch and diner during the next several days?  Why, their favorites of course!  So I packed the refrigerator with plenty of organic milk, organic whole grain waffles, organic eggs, organic chicken hotdogs, organic chicken cutlets, organic yogurt, organic cookies, organic strawberries, organic ice cream, organic . . . .

I could have fed the entire neighborhood with all the food I brought home.

            Then the final step: scouring the internet for all the local fun stuff to do.  The aquarium looked good. It had at least two manatees—those big, sweet-faced lumbering sea cows that float around in their tanks like giant buoys when they’re not eating bushels of lettuce.  It also had a half dozen giant turtles, not to mention a huge variety of fish, coral and crustaceans. There were also a few playgrounds nearby.  And then there was our pool, which is always a hit. 

I tell you, it took me a week to prepare. And I did it with excitement and joy. The final results? We had a ball, and at the end of their visit I was rewarded with, “When can we come again, Grammy?”

And all this brings to mind how God invests so much into us, too. Preparing situations, laying out His plans for our life, opening doors, cleaning away debris that would hinder, pouring “gifts” into us to make that way easier. No detail is too small for His attention.  And I bet He does it all with excitement and joy, too. 

And just like my grandchildren who had no clue of all the effort that went into their visit, we have no clue of all the effort God invests into us; of all the “behind the scenes” work He does on our behalf. And if we’re really honest, sometimes we even wonder if He’s working on our behalf at all. But He is, and I think it pleases Him when we remember that fact; when we raise our voices in praise of Him in spite of what we see or feel; when we fill our hearts with gratitude for what He has done for us in the past and what He is busy doing even now, albeit, unseen.  

Until next week,

Sylvia