Friday was “Grandparent’s Day” at my grandchildren’s school.  First, there was a delightful program in the auditorium and then a tour of the campus. It was a lovely day, and as I watched grandparents interfacing with their grandchildren and saw their excited faces, it brought home how important relatives are to children, and how the extended family provides the bonds that strengthen.  Through them, a child has roots.  They help define who he is, where he came from and perhaps where he is going. Grandparents, aunts and uncles can enhance the story and history of a family as well as provide wisdom, direction, guidance, and of course love. And when they are absent, the nuclear family is poorer for it.

My daughter once told me that one of the reasons she tried to walk the straight and narrow was because if she didn’t, she’d have to face her grandparents and all her aunts and uncles.  Hilary Clinton once said that it took a village to raise a child.  I don’t believe it.  But it does take a family and I include in that, the extended family. 

It’s easy for grandparents and uncles and aunts to be caught up in their own lives. We live in a world that seems to whirl faster and faster with each passing day.  But in such a world it’s more important than ever to keep connected and to be part of the glue that strengthens those we love.

Until next week,

Sylvia

Sometimes we defeat ourselves by our expectations.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t aim high and strive for the best. What I am saying is that there is nothing more discouraging than having unrealistic expectations.

Here’s an example.  Often times, as soon as their vows are said, young couples today expect to walk into a lifestyle that mirrors their parent’s—a lifestyle that took their parents years to acquire. This expectation has lead many into debt, and caused countless arguments and even divorce.

Going back in my own life I can see how my expectations as a young wife and mother were poorly managed.  I wanted that perfect family I saw on TV, where the mother was all dressed and happily serving her family a giant breakfast every morning.  I wanted happy, healthy kids who did well in school and who respected authority and who joyfully accepted my guidance. I wanted to remain interesting to my husband, keep my mind keen and challenged, as well as keep a clean and orderly home that my husband would be eager to return to every night.  

I was duped.  Unrealistic expectations had gotten the better of me. I had tried to mirror what I saw. Who can forget that well-dressed woman who, during a prime time commercial, held a frying pan and sang how she could “bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan” signifying how she worked at a demanding job all day and still maintain a home and family, and cooked great meals, and did it all with a smile.  To reinforce this picture, I had a lovely neighbor with twice as many children as I had who kept a perfect house, baked her own bread and consistently volunteered at school and her church.  Meanwhile, my house was generally messy, I hardly every baked bread, and did only a

little volunteering.  And though my days were full and busy I never quite felt I measured up.

Frustrated, I began seeing myself as a deficient homemaker, a malfunctioning Stepford Wife.  That was before wisdom took over and I began to understand that nobody can have it all; that life is a series of trade-offs and compromises and we must choose those things most important, then pursue them with gusto.  So I made peace with myself. I cooked breakfast in my robe. My house remained on the messy side. And I baked cookies only once a week, but I had a wonderful time raising my kids.  I enjoyed them and the many impromptu excursions my husband and I took with them. 

I know it’s a different age now, but people still allow unrealistic expectations to manage them.  With all our modern technology, technology meant to make life easier, we are busier than ever with seemingly not enough time for it all. And it’s a trap that can run you down and make you feel like a failure. The best way to combat this is to allow God to fill us with His expectations.  To allow Him to order our days and set our course. It will never get any better than that.

Until next week,

Sylvia

I had the occasion to spend last week with my grandchildren, and during that time they made two things abundantly clear: I have neither their stamina nor their techie know-how. Regarding the latter, I was amazed as I watched my two treasures navigate the complex world of remote controls and computer games.  I was further amazed at their ease in doing it. You’d have to be over fifty-five to be so impressed because many this age feel intimidated by our hi-tech society, myself included.   

But as I observed my grandchildren, I realized they needed this ability to live in this new world, a world where almost any electronic gizmo can become obsolete as soon as it’s purchased. It pleased me that my grandchildren were so adept, but it was a source of sadness too, for a world in which change seems to occur at light-speed can also be a world full of insecurity.  I mean, how do you maintain a sure footing in so fluid an environment? The answer is only by anchoring your life to a God who never changes.   I am glad my grandchildren know this God who is “the same yesterday, today, and forever”.  It gives me comfort that they will have a Rock to stand on in times of uncertainty. This is the gift their parents have given them and that I, as a grandparent can reinforce in a thousand different ways.  It is the one thing that makes me feel secure about their future.

Until next week,

Sylvia

Nothing destroys peace of mind like fears about tomorrow and these days people everywhere are worried about something: their jobs, their families, their finances, terrorism, the possibility of nuclear war, the list goes on and on. And though these problems are real, Christians are commanded by Scripture not to be fearful or to worry but to cast all their cares upon Jesus, no matter how big or impossible the circumstances.  Jesus says, in Matthew 10:29-31 that not even a sparrow can fall to the ground without God knowing it, and that we are worth more than sparrows.  He also says the very hairs of our head are numbered. Yes, He has numbered every hair on our head!  And if He cares about such a seemingly insignificant detail about each of us, surely He knows and cares about the "big stuff” in our lives as well.

Jesus goes on to say in Matthew 11:28-29 “Come to me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” What an exchange! What Jesus is saying here is if we yoke up with Him, if we walk beside Him and walk in His ways and get to know Him in a personal way, then He will give our souls rest by carrying our burdens. That word “souls” in Greek is psuche from which psyche comes from, and refers to the mind. Jesus is talking about giving us peace of mind, and when we have peace of mind we are not worrying about things.

In 1Timothy 1:7 the Apostle Paul says “God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  By this we see that God doesn’t want us going through life worried and afraid, but to walk in the power and love He has given us, and to maintain that soundness of our minds by walking closely with Jesus and allowing Him to help shoulder the burdens of our life.  

No circumstance, no matter how difficult, can void out the word of God.  He will deliver what He promises if we will follow what He says. The only questions remaining: Do we believe it? And will we do it?

Until next week,

Sylvia

When my children were young and they got frazzled or run down from too much activity, I would declare a “pajama” day.  These were days they didn’t have to get dressed (unless they wanted to) and could just rest or play quietly or watch TV, or do nothing at all without feeling guilty.  It really was a treat for them, and a tradition they continued long after they graduated high school. 

This year, after the holidays, I declared a “pajama” day for myself, a rare luxury for someone who is goal oriented and always has something I need to do. But it was wonderful, a day for recharging the batteries, for resting and reading that book I’ve been wanting to read, a book not for research or study but just for fun.  It reminded me how in our fast-paced world we tend to neglect ourselves.  We have so much to do, so many responsibilities that keep us racing along until we find ourselves exhausted and grinding to a halt.

The Bible talks about us being a three part man: spirit, soul (mind) and body.  And often times Christians concern themselves with their spirit and soul but forget the body, thinking of it as second class, or almost unimportant.  But the body is, after all, the temple of the Holy Spirit.  We need to care for it. 

I can’t tell you how much good my “pajama” day did me.  It gave me a fresh perspective, renewed energy and a new enthusiasm for, yes, you guessed it, the things of the spirit and soul. It’s better than a vacation, because most vacations are hectic and leave you more tired than when you embarked.  “Pajama” days are, on the other hand, low-keyed, easy and inexpensive prescriptions for maintaining balance in a harried world.  I think we should allow ourselves a few of them a year, don’t you?

Until next week,

Sylvia

It goes without saying that God wants us to be successful; successful in our families, our relationships, our jobs, our finances, in utilizing the gifts He has poured into each of us.  I dare say we want the same thing, and as we begin another year I’m sure we all hope it is successful, perhaps more so than previous years where no matter how hard we tried, success seemed to remain just outside our grasp. Our families were not what we hoped for, nor our relationships, our jobs, our finances. How can this be when we’ve done everything we know how to do?  When we’ve given it our best and still to no avail? To know the answer there are certain things we must understand.  First, for the believer, promotion comes from God (Psalm 75:6-7), and it always comes in His perfect timing.  Second, the path to Godly promotion (success) is totally opposite of the path to worldly promotion, and often appears as foolishness in the world’s eyes. But don’t worry, “the foolishness of God is wiser than men” (1 Corinthians 1:25).

So how do we achieve Godly success? Jesus called John the Baptist the greatest of men (Matthew 11:11). So here’s our first clue. What was it about John that made him so great? A one-liner from John himself says it all: “He (Jesus) must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:30). Wow! That’s a mouthful.  And to me it says as long as we remain the center of our world, the “Big I” on the throne of our hearts and minds, we are not going to be all we can be, and certainly not all that God wants us to be because that “center” belongs to Jesus.

Jesus gave us a few more clues when He said “if any man desires to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). He also said we are not to do anything with selfish or conceited motives, and that we must esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3 Amplified Bible).  Jesus is not talking about being a doormat here.  He’s talking about walking humbly before Him, caring about others and not always putting yourself first. If we do it His way, then He is bound by his word to honor us through promotion, blessings, and protection. If we violate His principles, then He is not.

“But,” you say, “there are many ungodly people who are successful.  Look at the entertainment industry. Look at sports, politics, business.”  Well, Satan is still the god of this world and he can make successful those who serve him, albeit unknowingly, through blaspheming the things of God, or through greed, dishonesty, etc., because just as Jesus is working to enlarge the Kingdom of God, so Satan is working to increase his own kingdom. But one day, Jesus will return to take back the earth, and rule and reign as its King.  Until then, He wants His people to occupy, and He wants us to do it successfully.  And it will be the kind of success that does not destroy us or fill us with overweening pride. It is a success that will be a blessing to ourselves and others, and will have consequences that reach far into eternity.

May God give us all a successful 2011!

Until next week,

Sylvia

I love New Years because it smacks of new beginnings, and new beginnings are ever so hopeful.  This year I’m going to shed those extra ten pounds.  This year I’m going to take that trip to Israel.  This year I’m actually going to read all those books piled high on my nightstand. This year . . . well, you fill in the blanks.  We all have our lists and New Years is the time when we once again look forward to a fresh start.

But the truth is we don’t have to wait for another new year to start over.  Everyday is new in the Lord.  Everyday we can start with a clean slate. The Bible tells us that today is the day the Lord has made, and that God’s mercies are new every morning.  That means no matter how badly we’ve blow yesterday, today we can start fresh with God. 

I love that about God.  He never rubs our nose in our failings, our shortcomings.  And if we confess our sins to Him the Bible says He casts them into the depths of the sea to be remembered no more. And He’ll never fish them out to throw them in our faces, either. So while I still love New Years, I’ve passed enough new years to know that those resolutions I make on January 1st don’t take long to go by the wayside.  And that’s OK, because I don’t have to wait until next New Years to begin again, and neither do you.

Wishing everyone a blessed and Happy New Year!

Until next week,

Sylvia

The more I see of the world the more I wonder if society at large has a clue of what real love is.  Oh, the romance movies would have us think it’s all sparks and chemistry like something that fizzes out of a child’s toy volcano when the right elements are mixed together. Most of the time this makes for a nice story, one that usually has a happy ending of boy getting girl.  But we rarely see what happens after the “getting,” when the pressures of everyday life kicks in, and the “fizz” goes flat.

So if that’s not real love, what is?  Well, there’s a great definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4 which says that love is patient, kind, never envious or boastful or conceited. It says that love does not insist on its own way, or its rights.  It’s not touchy or resentful, takes no account of wrong done it.  It’s not self-seeking, but bears up under anything that comes along.  It never fails and it’s not conditional.  Wow!  That’s awesome and inspiring, but depressing, too.  Because who can live it?

Only One comes to mind; the perfect embodiment of true love; the kind movies seldom talk about.  It’s love without sizzle.  It’s hard and gut wrenching, and poignant, and difficult.  It’s the kind of love that made the King of the Universe, the Creator of all, humble Himself and come in the form of man and allow His entrance to be made in a smelly animal shelter.  It’s the kind of love that, without resentment, bore up under the persecution and lies of His countrymen.  A kind of love that didn’t fail when He was tortured and nailed to a tree.  Instead of calling down bolts of lightening on those who mocked Him, He called out, “Father forgive them.” 

Oh, how our God loves us! He spelled it out clearly: J-E-S-U-S.  Let us remember Him in this wonderful season.

Happy Birthday Jesus.  And Merry Christmas everyone.

Until next week,

Sylvia

Recently, National Geographic aired a documentary made by two photo journalists who, for a year, followed the same detachment of US troops deployed in the Korengal Valley of Afghanistan. It was raw and poignant, and showed the face of warfare: its boredom, its filth, its danger, its courage, its casualties, its sorrow, its frustration, its injustice. Over forty men died there either taking or holding ground only to have our forces abandon these positions at a later date. 

It broke my heart to watch it.  Many of the men who made it back carried deep scars and claimed they had yet to reconcile everything they saw or did.  And that’s when it struck me how similar spiritual warfare is to its physical counterpart.

Like in Afghanistan, we are all fighting a war, a spiritual war that generally thrusts us into combat, daily, and for which we need courage. And the causalities are many: broken marriages, drug addiction, loss of jobs and home, loss of health.  And sometimes we conquer enemy territory at great cost only to relinquish it at a later date, like a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for years only to succumb, unexpectedly. And often we are left with scars. And Satan doesn’t fight fair, either.  He, too, is not above using our children or spouse as shields or fodder. And he hits us when we least expect it.  But unlike Afghanistan, where our soldiers never left their wounded comrades behind, we, in the church, tend to shoot ours or leave them bleeding and unattended.  Instead of compassion, we judge.  Instead of love, we ostracize. 

When is the church going to learn we must stick together?  When one falls, we must be there to pick him up, to encourage, to love, to nurse back to health; but never, never to abandon.

War is ugly, and dangerous, and hurtful.  All war.  And just as the “War on Terror” isn’t going away any time soon, so too, spiritual warfare is here to stay. The Bible says we have an enemy who hates us; one who seeks to “steal, kill and destroy.” No matter what our denomination, believers in Jesus must stick together like never before, and at all costs, care for our wounded.

Until next week,

Sylvia

Right now, my bed is covered with bows and ribbons and bright colored Christmas paper and an assortment of gifts waiting to be wrapped.  I love giving presents.  Oh, the anticipation of seeing someone’s face light up when unwrapping that perfect gift, the one he or she has been hoping for; the one that really means something. The smile, the sparkling eyes, the obvious pleasure on the face makes my pleasure complete.

I imagine that’s how it is with our Heavenly Father.  He delights in giving us gifts, too.  We all know His greatest gift to us was Jesus, but I’m talking about something else here. I’m talking about those personal gifts to us, the ones He takes great pains to select, to wrap, and then to reveal at just the right time: that healing touch, that deposit of peace in the midst of a storm, that scripture that speaks to the heart, sending that needed person at just the right time, that unexpected baby after a couple has tried unsuccessfully for years, that job opportunity at the most unlikely place, that . . .

It’s hard for me to watch TV this time of year. Nearly every channel has a “Santa” story showing a big hearted, all-knowing personality that just delights in giving gifts.  I know many enjoy this type of entertainment, but I can’t help but feel sad that this fake figure is so revered, and that so much energy goes into perpetuating his myth, when all along we have Someone who truly delights in showering us, His children, with gifts; Someone whose heart swells with joy and delight at the prospect of blessing us, and not with gifts that eventually break or are forgotten in some dusty closet, either, but with gifts that help us live fuller lives, gifts that many times have eternal value.

Oh, what a wonderful, generous God we serve!  And what pleasure He takes in us.  It’s only fitting that we take the same pleasure in Him.

Until next week,

Sylvia